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A political & humor blog also featuring movie & TV drinking games and other humor, funny signs, and ways to make money off the internet.

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Home Sweet Home

This article is hilarious.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0122PinalTransportation.html

Some of the best quotes:

Barbara Parsons just wanted a bigger, cheaper house when she moved south of Queen Creek to Pinal County.

For her 42-mile one-way trip to work, she rises at 3:30 a.m. to hit the driveway by 5:30 a.m. at the latest for a "somewhat safe drive." Three hours a day trapped in her car battling one of the worst intersections, where Hunt Highway meets Ellsworth Road, has her considering moving closer to the metro area's core.

"The drive is crazy now," Parsons said. "You need two cups of coffee in the morning out here to be on your toes. It's made me feel I've made the biggest mistake ever in coming out here."


Yes, yes you did Barbara. But that's what you get for moving 42 fucking miles away from where you work. And for taking 2 hours to get ready in the morning as well. What's up with that? When you are waking up, I've only been in bed for a couple of hours and I will stay there for quite some time. Sleep well tonight, Barbara!

Two years ago, there was virtually no backup at Hunt and Ellsworth. Now, it can take 30 minutes to get through the intersection, making the commute to Intel's Chandler campus a 50-minute struggle for Johnson Ranch resident Scott Barnett. Drivers have pelted him with coffee cups, cut in front of him and swerved around him.

First of all, when did we start giving communities names that sound like male strip clubs? Because that's precisely what I think of when I hear the name "Johnson Ranch". Second, how the hell is this guy getting pelted with coffee cups? Is he just sitting there in the road or something? How does this happen? If this is happening to him constantly, perhaps he needs to learn how to drive. Or he should roll up his windows.


This is all making me very glad I will be leaving the Valley very soon. This city is going down the drain. The infrastructure has not kept up with the growth, yet morons continue to move 42 fucking miles away from where they work and magically expect the roads to be clear for them to drive to work every morning. Seeing as we're a long way off from having those hover cars we were promised, there is no solution in sight.

People here place too much value on having a big, new house. There are plenty of places closer to the city. Sure, they might not be as big, and they might not be as new, but isn't it worth it to not be spending an extra 3 hours in your car every day? That's an 12 hour workday (if you're including lunch), but you're only actually getting paid for 8 hours. Well done. You sure did beat the system.

I remember how bad the commute was from where my parents lived, and they lived nowhere near as far away as these people do. Where they live now in Boise, they have about a 15 minute commute and they seem much happier. And at the apartment where I live now in Tempe, I'm less than 15 minutes from every place I've worked. This is the secret to life.

My resolution is to always live close to where I work. I would much rather have a smaller house that perhaps needs a bit of fixing up, than have some giant, new, Mormon-sized house miles away from anywhere. Most of the new houses somewhat closer to the city are huge, so if you want a cheaper new house you have to go far away. So the people who insist on owning a new house are ending up in East Ass Crack, Arizona. I can't say I blame the builders, it makes economic sense for them. And the new houses increase in value faster, but are these people buying for that reason or for a place to live? Right now we have to deal with pissed off people every day as a result of all of this, since people are already angry by the time they get to work.

I don't know if my resolution is realistic, but I'll give it a shot. Of course, it helps that I'm nowhere close to being ready to own property yet. At the very least, I want to live in a place with a halfway decent public transportation system so even if I do have a bit of a commute, I can just sit and read or listen to music while letting someone else do the work.

And to end this on a lighter note, here's a nice Arrested Development quote related to naming a development. I thought it was appropriate.

Michael: What do you think of when you hear the name, "Sudden Valley"?
George Michael Bluth: Salad dressing. But I don't really want to eat it.
Michael: What about, "Paradise Gardens"?
George Michael Bluth: Yeah... I can see myself marinating a chicken in that...

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posted by Jonathan @ 12:00 AM Monday, January 23, 2006  
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