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A political & humor blog also featuring movie & TV drinking games and other humor, funny signs, and ways to make money off the internet.

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Gerald Ford dead today, at the senseless age of 93

Gerald Ford has passed away. And you know what that means.

Yes, it is time for that classic SNL sketch starring Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw (Full Transcript).

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ sad ] "Gerald Ford dead today.. at age 84.."

Voice of Producer: That was good. Good.

Tom Brokaw: Okay, what now?

Voice of Producer: Now let's do one for if he's shot.

Tom Brokaw: Well, what are the chances of that?

Voice of Producer: We're just covering contingencies.

Tom Brokaw: I mean, it just seems that Gerald Ford..

Voice of Producer: Look - you're the one who wants to spend the whole winter in Barbados, okay? Now, we gotta be ready with something, just in case. Alright, Tom?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" ] "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at age 83."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. add the word "senseless".

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at the senseless age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Um.. uh..

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. "Gerald Ford shot senselessly dead, at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Okay, now suicide.

Tom Brokaw: What?!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford dead today, after jupming out of an office building, senselessly."

Voice of Producer: That's a nice touch. Okay, moving on.

Tom Brokaw: Okay. "Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Gerald Ford and a commuter plane ] "Stunning news from Michigan, as former President Gerald Ford was chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane."

Voice of Producer: Good. One take.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, we got it?

Voice of Producer: No. We've got "eaten by wolves".

Tom Brokaw: What? Now, come on!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford isn't gonna be eaten by wolves!

Voice of Producer: Taft was.

Tom Brokaw: Really? Taft?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. yeah.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Ford surrounded by a pair of wolves ] "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious." Now.. now, that's just superfluous, you know?

Voice of Producer: It's a former President, Tom. What do you say - he's not delicious?


For the moment, that transcript will have to suffice, as I can't find it on Youtube.

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posted by Jonathan @ 10:47 PM Tuesday, December 26, 2006  
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