Tarfumes.com - About Tarfumes

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism." - Thomas Jefferson

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When/why was this website created?

This website started in 2004 after it was determined that a few movie drinking games I had developed with friends needed to be exposed to the world. This, combined with a website for making money of the internet that I had created previously, formed tarfumes.com.

Where does the tarfumes.com name come from?

The name is a Simpsons reference. In one episode, Homer has a smitten Ralph Wiggum re-tar the Simpsons' roof. The following exchange occurs:

Ralph: Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy!

Homer: Yeah, they'll do that.

And thus, a crappy website was born.

Are the ads necessary?

Yes. Some webmasters refuse to show ads because they supposedly hinder the experience of their visitors. Fuck that. I want money. It helps fund the site. You know how to do that, right? Use my Amazon links whenever you go to Amazon.com (it doesn't cost you a thing, so why not help a friend?)

What is The Wooden Fork?

The Wooden Fork is both a website and an object. One night, my flatmate Elmo and I were walking home in Dennistoun after a drunken night of debauchery. We spotted a large decorative wooden fork that had been discarded in some bushes. Not wanting a perfectly good large decorative wooden fork to go to waste, we carried it back to our flat, where it was then placed on a conveniently empty hook on our wall. The fork then remained on the wall until I moved back to the States. It now resides in Elmo's new flat, but still remains part of Glasweigian lore.

The Wooden Fork serves as an inspiration to the masses. Every year, thousands of pilgrims trek to Glasgow to view it. It is rumored to have healing properties. Carbon dating has placed its birth around 2000 years ago, meaning Jesus may have used it himself. If Jesus was a giant, that is. During World War II, singlehandedly stopped the Germans from invading Scotland. It currently has a bit of purple ribbon tied to it. It is unknown if there is a matching knife and spoon.

And that's the story.

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