 
AboutWhen/why was this
website created?
This website
started in 2004 after it was determined that a
few movie drinking games I had developed with
friends needed to be exposed to the world. This,
combined with a website for making money of the
internet that I had created previously, formed
tarfumes.com.
Where does
the tarfumes.com name come from?
The name is a
Simpsons reference. In one episode, Homer has a
smitten Ralph Wiggum re-tar the Simpsons' roof.
The following exchange occurs:
Ralph: Mr.
Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy!
Homer: Yeah,
they'll do that.
And thus, a crappy
website was born.
Are the
ads necessary?
Yes. Some
webmasters refuse to show ads because they
supposedly hinder the experience of their
visitors. Fuck that. I want money. It helps fund the site. You know how to do that, right? Use my Amazon links whenever you go to Amazon.com (it doesn't cost you a thing, so why not help a friend?)
What is
The Wooden Fork?
The Wooden Fork is
both a website and an object. One night,
my flatmate Elmo and I were walking home in
Dennistoun after a drunken night of debauchery.
We spotted a large decorative wooden fork that
had been discarded in some bushes. Not wanting a
perfectly good large decorative wooden fork to go
to waste, we carried it back to our flat, where
it was then placed on a conveniently empty hook
on our wall. The fork then remained on the wall
until I moved back to the States. It now resides
in Elmo's new flat, but still remains part of
Glasweigian lore.
The Wooden Fork
serves as an inspiration to the masses. Every
year, thousands of pilgrims trek to Glasgow to
view it. It is rumored to have healing properties.
Carbon dating has placed its birth around 2000
years ago, meaning Jesus may have used it himself.
If Jesus was a giant, that is. During World War
II, singlehandedly stopped the Germans from
invading Scotland. It currently has a bit of
purple ribbon tied to it. It is unknown if there
is a matching knife and spoon.
And that's the
story.
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