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Summary: Too many unanswered questions!
Comment: This book would be much more helpful if it had more facts in the examples.
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Summary: If you think words do not hurt you... read this book and compare them
Comment: I bought this book and was shocked how much I was shaking my head and agreeing with what was written. The hard part... I was in one of these replationships and did not realize until I got out what it had done to my self esteem. If you have this in your hands... read it... and move on. Life it to good to allow someone to do this to you.
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Summary: Heart-wrenching stories from verbal-abuse victims
Comment: Author Patricia Evans meticulously researched, described and documented verbal abuse in her previous book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship. This time, she gives domestic abuse a human face by including the experiences of verbal abuse survivors, recounted in their own words. You witness their struggles, confusion, pain and courage as they endure abuse, rediscover themselves and, ultimately, hopefully, move on. Particularly heart-wrenching are the stories of women whose abuse was denied, not only by their abusers, but also by their family, friends and even their counselors, exacerbating their feelings of isolation, guilt and bewilderment. One survivor says, "When I talked to a therapist about it, she said to go shopping." Evans covers the same ground as in her previous books, but the addition of excerpts from victims' letters makes it worth the read. If you feel you might be suffering from verbal abuse, or care about someone who is, getAbstract recommends Evans' book. For relationship counselors and therapists, it's required reading.
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Summary: biased thinking
Comment: As a counsellor I value the contribution of Patricia Evans. She outlines what abuse is in great detail, and that is very valuable, but she ignores the fact that men are as much subject to abuse (verbal and otherwise) as women are. they do not report it, and hence it is assumed that they are not victims to the same extent as women are. Studies have shown that almost an equal percentage of men suffer abuse. In my own counselling practice I have as many men as women who are victims of abuse. it takes them a long time to admit it, as they fear being labelled as weak or wimpish! I suggest that Patricia Evans amends her titles and includes women to show that she is writing about the abuse of women, and admits in her introduction the men are also abused to at least as great an extent. Indeed, my experience shows that the violence suffered by men can be greater, because women often resort to using weapons to make up for their relative lack of physical strength. Were Miss Evans to make these changes I would give her book a 5 star rating.
Dr Jim O'Shea
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Summary: If you think you're in one, then you are
Comment: Verbally-abusive relationships were foreign to me, I thought. But life changes and I sought answers on what would make an individual become abusive when they hadn't been so to you before. This book tells many versions of bad people manipulating people they love for many reasons, but among the stories are common threads that will give all who believe they are suffering at the hands of an abuser, strength to stand up to them and freedom to leave them behind. Finally I saw patterns of abuse in his marriage and and the signs of illness that had not been visible through my rose-colored eyes of love. This books support to move forward to positivism was a great motivator. How we change when abused is frightening. Whatever rantionalizations, lies, and blame laid at your feet the abuser uses to justify the abuse, it is not anyone's fault but their own for their cruelty. I often scoffed at self-help books, but this is a topic that is needed. Thank you.
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