It's been a while since Steve Martin has been funny, but he managed to do so in this fake Bill O'Reilly rant he wrote for The Huffington Post.

An excerpt:

Look, look, look, look. A leap second is a denial of everything American, of everything good, of everything moral. They're saying we need this second because the earth rotates on its axis and revolves around the earth, well this is the no spin zone. So we don't need a leap second.

Happy New Year everyone, don't drink and drive. Pick one or the other and stick with it.

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posted by Jonathan @ 8:33 PM Saturday, December 31, 2005   
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During Winter Break, most kids spend time hanging out with friends or visiting relatives.

Well, Farris Hassan, a 16-year-old from Florida, sort of did that in a different way.

He travelled to Iraq. By himself.

The story of his crazy trip is here. It's pretty fascinating.

The kid is absolutely nuts, but you have to admire the fact that anyone would have the balls to go and do something like this. Not many 16-year-olds travel to Iraq by themselves and live to tell the tale.

I hope that he continues along this path and becomes a journalist someday. If he is willing to go to this length to do research and have this experience, imagine what he could do with official status and an organization behind him. Of course, knowing the fact that he is a little bit crazy to have done this, we'd probably just end up with another Geraldo. On second thought, maybe we should hope he picks another career path.

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posted by Jonathan @ 10:09 PM Thursday, December 29, 2005   
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Austria is due to assume the presidency of the EU in just a few days. A wonderfuly timed poster exhibition is turning some heads though in Vienna, Austria.

Meant to "reflect on the different social, historical and political developements in Europe", the posters in question depict "two naked female models wearing masks of President George W. Bush and the Queen, and a male model with a President Jacques Chirac mask, positioned as if they were having sex (Reuters)".

Nothing says social development like George W. Bush being penetrated by Jacques Chirac.

As I was searching for alternate takes on this story, as well as photos of the posters themselves, I found some interesting headlines.

Something there is not quite right. In case they fix the problem, I took a screenshot.

Let's play a little game. Tell me what is wrong with the screenshot below, taken from the ABC News website.



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Okay, time's up. If you were smart enough to figure out that Austria is not Australia, and Austrians are not called Aussies, you win!! You win the gratification that comes with knowing you are smarter than ABC News and the Associated Press. Congratulations!

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posted by Jonathan @ 8:43 PM Wednesday, December 28, 2005   
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I guess this is political/humorous to some extent.

Someone with far too much time on his hands has rated all of the flags of the world in terms of aesthetic appeal (Introduction).

The basic rules are as follows:

Rule 1: Do not write the name of your country on your flag.

Rule 1a: Do not write on your flag.

Rule 1b: Do not write some stupid slogan on your flag.

Rule 1c: If you must write a stupid slogan on your flag, do not do so in a living language!

Rule 2: Do not put a map of your country on your flag.

Rule 2a: Do not put a picture of anything on your flag.

Rule 3: Do not use a tricolour unless you are in Europe.

Based on these rules, he arrived at the following results:

In first place: Gambia

In last place: Northern Mariana Islands

Somewhere in about the middle: The United States of America

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posted by Jonathan @ 8:22 PM   
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It's almost the end of 2005, so most media organizations are recaping the past year. Media Matters has compiled a list of some of the stupidest, most outrageous statements of the year.

Needless to say, a lot of dumb things have been said this year, particularly by the usual suspects like Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and Pat Robertson.

A lot of quotes that stood out to me from the past year didn't make the list since they weren't made by conservative commentators. Otherwise "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job" would have certainly made the cut.

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posted by Jonathan @ 10:04 PM Monday, December 26, 2005   
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Finally, video proof that President Bush has been drinking!

I never watch The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson but some of the clips I've seen are entertaining. Like Jimmy Kimmel Live some of the best bits don't involve much writing but instead clever sound and video editing.

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posted by Jonathan @ 10:02 PM   
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Happy holidays, whatever you are celebrating.

Here is a collection of funny holiday themed videos, including some good ones from SNL, The Daily Show, and the Colbert Report. It also has some other goodies, including the video for one of the best Christmas songs ever, The Pogues - Fairytale of New York.

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posted by Jonathan @ 4:12 PM Sunday, December 25, 2005   
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Robert Mugabe has his scrotum pierced by a goat

Okay, so maybe not. He deserves it though.

I'm pretty sure the story is a fake, but it's still pretty funny, especially the some of the comments at the bottom.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but I've had a difficult time finding anything funny or especially newsworthy to post. The War on Christmas? Boring. Osama bin Laden's niece appearing in GQ? Eh, I'd much prefer Natalie Portman or Keira Knightley. Wiretaps? Scary, but boring. Most politicians lately? Scary, but boring.

Perhaps things will pick up after New Year's, or maybe Bush will set something on fire if he does a Hannukah photo op this week.

Happy Festivus/Chrismukkah everyone!

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posted by Jonathan @ 8:30 PM Friday, December 23, 2005   
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Two Three things from the world of advertising:

I just saw a commercial for Toyota that advertised their trucks as "meteor proof". I highly doubt that this is true. It's pretty damn unlikely that anybody's vehicle is going to be hit by a meteor, but surely a big enough meteor would destroy any pickup truck.

Also, I keep seeing movies advertised as being "only in theaters". This is a lie. I know that I can download the movie. They know this as well. This is blatant false advertising and I won't stand for it. They should change the ads to say something more like "only in theaters if you want to view it legally, but we know damn well you can use BitTorrent to get it, since who the hell wants to pay $8 to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2 anyway?".

Budweiser's new slogan has to be the worst in the history of advertising. Here's a tip, if you have to tell people that what they are drinking is beer, it's probably not a very good beer.

I can just see the brainstorming session now.

(a bunch of guys sit around a boardroom table, drinking Bud)

Man A: (takes a drink) Ugghh... what is this shit?

Man B: (takes a drink) It takes like warm cat piss. Which I know, because I frequently drink warm cat piss.

Man C: (takes a drink) I think it's supposed to be beer.

Man D: (takes a drink) This is beer?

Budweiser head honcho guy: Perfect! Our new slogan! This is beer!

posted by Jonathan @ 3:36 PM Sunday, December 18, 2005   
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This won't make any sense if you don't watch The Amazing Race.



Needless to say, I'm glad the Weavers lost. I picked the Linzes from the start and I'm glad they won.

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posted by Jonathan @ 10:00 PM Tuesday, December 13, 2005   
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This was on the Sky News homepage earlier. Probably not the best place for BP to be advertising.



The top ad is no longer showing on the site but thanks to someone on Fark for noticing this & taking a screenshot when it was up.

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posted by Jonathan @ 11:02 AM Sunday, December 11, 2005   
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