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Gerald Ford dead today, at the senseless age of 93
Gerald Ford has passed away. And you know what that means.
Yes, it is time for that classic SNL sketch starring Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw (Full Transcript).
Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ sad ] "Gerald Ford dead today.. at age 84.."
Voice of Producer: That was good. Good.
Tom Brokaw: Okay, what now?
Voice of Producer: Now let's do one for if he's shot.
Tom Brokaw: Well, what are the chances of that?
Voice of Producer: We're just covering contingencies.
Tom Brokaw: I mean, it just seems that Gerald Ford..
Voice of Producer: Look - you're the one who wants to spend the whole winter in Barbados, okay? Now, we gotta be ready with something, just in case. Alright, Tom?
Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" ] "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at age 83."
Voice of Producer: Uh.. add the word "senseless".
Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at the senseless age of 83."
Voice of Producer: Um.. uh..
Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. "Gerald Ford shot senselessly dead, at the age of 83."
Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Okay, now suicide.
Tom Brokaw: What?!
Voice of Producer: Just read it!
Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford dead today, after jupming out of an office building, senselessly."
Voice of Producer: That's a nice touch. Okay, moving on.
Tom Brokaw: Okay. "Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."
Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Next.
Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Gerald Ford and a commuter plane ] "Stunning news from Michigan, as former President Gerald Ford was chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane."
Voice of Producer: Good. One take.
Tom Brokaw: Alright, we got it?
Voice of Producer: No. We've got "eaten by wolves".
Tom Brokaw: What? Now, come on!
Voice of Producer: Just read it!
Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford isn't gonna be eaten by wolves!
Voice of Producer: Taft was.
Tom Brokaw: Really? Taft?
Voice of Producer: Uh.. yeah.
Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Ford surrounded by a pair of wolves ] "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious." Now.. now, that's just superfluous, you know?
Voice of Producer: It's a former President, Tom. What do you say - he's not delicious?
For the moment, that transcript will have to suffice, as I can't find it on Youtube.
On last night's 2006 finale of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took on the Decemberists in a guitar solo challenge.
I love the Colbert Report, and I love the Decemberists, so needless to say, it was a good show.
The show featured Colbert and the band, of course, as well as cameos from Henry Kissinger, Peter Frampton, and Rick Neilson of Cheap Trick, who apparently created the them for the Colbert Report.
Below is the original challenge from Colbert, as well as a Colbert-inspired entry from the Decemberists' green screen challenge for O! Valencia. To view the entire episode from last night, go to comedycentral.com.
In case you missed it, Senator Barack Obama of Illinois made an important announcement before the Chicago Bears took on the St. Louis Rams on Monday Night Football last night.
I guess I will have to keep waiting for the announcement I really want to hear...
According to WorldNetDaily, eating soy products makes you gay.
Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products.
I don't eat tons of soy, but I do like fried tofu.
FRIED TOFU IS SHRINKING MY PENIS AND TURNING ME INTO A HOMOSEXUAL!
Many of these adversaries have Muslim names. Others are simply rock musicians.
Players can choose to join the Antichrist's team, but of course they can never win on Carpathia's side. The enemy team includes fictional rock stars and folks with Muslim-sounding names, while the righteous include gospel singers, missionaries, healers and medics. Every character comes with a life story.
When asked about the Arab and Muslim-sounding names, Frichner said the game does not endorse prejudice. But "Muslims are not believers in Jesus Christ" -- and thus can't be on Christ's side in the game.
"That is so obvious," he said.
Of course it is. Kill all the Muslims. It's the American way.
I'm happy to see that the groups leading this protest are also Christian groups. Contrary to what it might look like sometimes, evangelicals aren't the only Christians out there, and any person with half a brain agrees that advocating the murder of Muslims just because they do not believe in Jesus Christ is wrong.
The Rev. Tim Simpson, a Jacksonville, Fla., Presbyterian minister and president of the Christian Alliance for Progress, added: "So, under the Christmas tree this year for little Johnny is this allegedly Christian video game teaching Johnny to hate and kill?"
Yes, and Walmart is promoting it.
It's funny how they pulled magazines like FHM and Maxim right away when just a few wingnuts complained, but they aren't doing the same for this.
"We look at the community to see where it will sell," said Tara Raddohl. "We have customers who are buying it and really haven't received a lot of complaints about it from our customers at this time."
Well, that should change.
Contact Tara Raddohl yourself to let her know that you find it offensive that Walmart would sell a product that advocates killing non-Christians.
I think this is a couple of years old, but it's pretty cool nonetheless. The cast of Scrubs got together for an interesting take on Charlie Brown Christmas. All of the cast is there as various Peanuts characters.
