 
Conversations with an IM robotThere are a few instant messaging robots out there. You can have a lot of fun with these robots if you are bored and/or drunk. This section contains some "conversations" myself and others have had with these autoresponse robots. As always, you can submit your own conversation to submissions@tarfumes.com.
Page 1 (Smarterchild) : Page 2 (Smarterchild) : Page 3 (JoinBode) : Page 4 (JoinBode)
Tarfumes: .
SmarterChild: Hi Tarfumes, I'm SmarterChild!
I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click here to see my privacy policy.
Your 30-day free trial starts now. I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)
Tarfumes: sure
SmarterChild: Cool! OK, let's get started. To skip any question, type "skip." To exit the interview, type "exit."
What's your first name? (If you want me to call you Tarfumes, type "none.")
Tarfumes: Penis
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Penis now.
Do you go to school?
Tarfumes: Yes
SmarterChild: Are you in high school?
Tarfumes: No
SmarterChild: Are you in college?
Tarfumes: Yes
SmarterChild: Cool! What's your major?
Tarfumes: masturbation
SmarterChild: Masturbation? Excellent. Good luck with that.
What's your favorite hobby?
Tarfumes: masturbation
SmarterChild: Wow. OK. Let's try to think of something else, alright?
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Tarfumes: doing stupid things with IM robots
SmarterChild: Doing stupid things with im robots? Cool!
What's your next favorite hobby?
Tarfumes: licking toads
SmarterChild: Doing stupid things with im robots and licking toads. Interesting!
Do you have a pet?
Tarfumes: yes
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
Tarfumes: dead
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again.
Tarfumes: it is!
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again.
Tarfumes: wildebeest
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again.
Tarfumes: aardvark
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again.
Tarfumes: platypus
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again.
Tarfumes: dog
SmarterChild: Is your dog a he or a she?
Tarfumes: he, but he has no balls
SmarterChild: What's his name?
Tarfumes: spike
SmarterChild: Spike the dog! Great...
That's it! Thanks for letting me get to know you a little.
Tarfumes: what's new
SmarterChild: Glad you asked, Penis! Here's what's new:
1 Need to reach a buddy who's offline? Tell me to leave a message and they'll get it as soon as they say hi to me.
2 Planner - I can help you plan and remember events in your life. Keep track of birthdays, appointments, tasks - anything you want!
3 Colors - I've got a whole new look. If you want to change my color scheme - or go back to black-and-white - type "colors."
4 Send a crush to your IM sweetheart! No risk of rejection - the object of your affection will only see your crush if they say they have a crush on you too.
But wait, that's not all... Type "more" to see what else is new!
Tarfumes: why do you keep calling me Penis? that is rude
SmarterChild: I dunno!
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