Move along, there's nothing to see here
March protests pace of 9th Ward recovery
No relation between the 2 stories at all.
Stephen Colbert Sean Penn Meta-Free-Phor-All
John McCain's MySpace got "hacked"
Osama Bin Laughing?
It will be interesting to see if he pulls it off, but it will be hard to do. I suggest musical numbers and fart jokes.
Dick Cheney to stand trial for sodomizing dead dog?
I knew it!
A story about a guy being charged with sodomizing a dead dog, accompanied by a photo of Dick Cheney? Now that's just funny.
The actual article, as of last check the photo was still there
Kiss My Ass George
And no, my ass isn't up on the site.
Bored tonight? How about the SOTU Drinking Game?
Some of my favorite rules:
Chug your beer or down your wine or do two shots when:
Audible "fuck you!" from House side.
Fox cuts to Harry Reid playing pocket pool.
Normally I would watch so I can have a laugh, but the Suns are playing the Wizards tonight, and that game will be far more entertaining.
Edit: It appears that MSNBC is going to re-air the State of the Union address throughout the night, so if you are like me and have something better to watch, or if you just want to play the drinking game over and over again and never wake up again, you can tune in there.
Colbert on O'Reilly, O'Reilly on Colbert
Stephen Colbert on The O'Reilly Factor:
Bill O'Reilly on the Colbert Report:
Stephen Colbert sure does do a great job of staying in character. And Bill O'Reilly is not very funny. But we knew that. I'll give him credit though for playing along.
Barack Obama gets ready to run
The video below is from his site, and serves as a nice little introduction to his campaign.
Bloomberg: "We are waiting for the gas to pass"
Ah, there's nothing like a good fart joke.
(props to Best Week Ever)
A very good day
Today is the day where the new congresspeople bring all of their families to the chamber. After the roll call vote, they showed a row of kids, and there was a little girl who had her leg up on a seat. Well, the little boy next to her didn't like that, and repeatedly shoved her leg to get her to move. It was cute and funny.
The children are now being invited up to touch the Speaker of the House's gavel. It's nice to be able to write that with no double meaning.
Before the session started, they showed Harry Mitchell. He was looking around the chamber with this huge grin on his face. Congrats, Harry, you deserve it.
Today is a very good day.
PS: Dick Cheney is apparently still alive. Who would have guessed?
Happy New Year!
We are apparently going to die this year. But don't worry, Jesus will save us.
An AP-AOL News poll asked Americans what they thought would happen in 2007. Here are the highlights of their results:
Six in 10 people think the U.S. will be the victim of a terrorist attack. An identical percentage thinks it likely that a biological or nuclear weapon will be unleashed somewhere else in the world.
Seventy percent of people in the U.S. predict a major natural disaster in the country and an equal percentage expects worsening global warming. Also, 29 percent think it likely that the U.S. will withdraw its troops from Iraq.
35 percent predict the military draft will be reinstated.
35 percent predict a cure for cancer will be found.
25 percent anticipate the second coming of Jesus Christ.
19 percent think scientists are likely to find evidence of extraterrestrial life.
So there you have it. Aliens are going to cure cancer by warming up the planet, but then attack us, so we will need to remove our troops from Iraq and have a draft, but Jesus will come back and lead us to victory. You heard it here first.
Gerald Ford Dana Carvey SNL Tom Brokaw
|I found the Saturday Night Live video featuring Dana Carvey that I referred to in my post about Gerald Ford's death yesterday.|
Gerald Ford dead today, at the senseless age of 93
Yes, it is time for that classic SNL sketch starring Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw (Full Transcript).
Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ sad ] "Gerald Ford dead today.. at age 84.."
Voice of Producer: That was good. Good.
Tom Brokaw: Okay, what now?
Voice of Producer: Now let's do one for if he's shot.
Tom Brokaw: Well, what are the chances of that?
Voice of Producer: We're just covering contingencies.
Tom Brokaw: I mean, it just seems that Gerald Ford..
Voice of Producer: Look - you're the one who wants to spend the whole winter in Barbados, okay? Now, we gotta be ready with something, just in case. Alright, Tom?
Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" ] "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at age 83."
Voice of Producer: Uh.. add the word "senseless".
Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at the senseless age of 83."
Voice of Producer: Um.. uh..
Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. "Gerald Ford shot senselessly dead, at the age of 83."
Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Okay, now suicide.
Tom Brokaw: What?!
Voice of Producer: Just read it!
Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford dead today, after jupming out of an office building, senselessly."
Voice of Producer: That's a nice touch. Okay, moving on.
Tom Brokaw: Okay. "Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."
Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Next.
Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Gerald Ford and a commuter plane ] "Stunning news from Michigan, as former President Gerald Ford was chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane."
Voice of Producer: Good. One take.
Tom Brokaw: Alright, we got it?
Voice of Producer: No. We've got "eaten by wolves".
Tom Brokaw: What? Now, come on!
Voice of Producer: Just read it!
Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford isn't gonna be eaten by wolves!
Voice of Producer: Taft was.
Tom Brokaw: Really? Taft?
Voice of Producer: Uh.. yeah.
Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Ford surrounded by a pair of wolves ] "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious." Now.. now, that's just superfluous, you know?
Voice of Producer: It's a former President, Tom. What do you say - he's not delicious?
For the moment, that transcript will have to suffice, as I can't find it on Youtube.
You have been named Time magazine's Person of the Year!
Does this mean I can put this on my resume?
Border Fence Firm Snared for Hiring Illegal Workers
Company hired to build the fence along the U.S./Mexico border busted for hiring illegal immigrants
Barack Obama makes an important announcement
I guess I will have to keep waiting for the announcement I really want to hear...
Walmart advocates murdering Muslims
Many of these adversaries have Muslim names. Others are simply rock musicians.
Players can choose to join the Antichrist's team, but of course they can never win on Carpathia's side. The enemy team includes fictional rock stars and folks with Muslim-sounding names, while the righteous include gospel singers, missionaries, healers and medics. Every character comes with a life story.
When asked about the Arab and Muslim-sounding names, Frichner said the game does not endorse prejudice. But "Muslims are not believers in Jesus Christ" -- and thus can't be on Christ's side in the game.
"That is so obvious," he said.
Of course it is. Kill all the Muslims. It's the American way.
I'm happy to see that the groups leading this protest are also Christian groups. Contrary to what it might look like sometimes, evangelicals aren't the only Christians out there, and any person with half a brain agrees that advocating the murder of Muslims just because they do not believe in Jesus Christ is wrong.
The Rev. Tim Simpson, a Jacksonville, Fla., Presbyterian minister and president of the Christian Alliance for Progress, added: "So, under the Christmas tree this year for little Johnny is this allegedly Christian video game teaching Johnny to hate and kill?"
Yes, and Walmart is promoting it.
It's funny how they pulled magazines like FHM and Maxim right away when just a few wingnuts complained, but they aren't doing the same for this.
"We look at the community to see where it will sell," said Tara Raddohl. "We have customers who are buying it and really haven't received a lot of complaints about it from our customers at this time."
Well, that should change.
Contact Tara Raddohl yourself to let her know that you find it offensive that Walmart would sell a product that advocates killing non-Christians.
But we will never know what is on Kim Jong-Il's shuffle!
Don't you feel safer?
What a night
In Arizona, Janet Napolitano won the governor race in an expected landslide.
It looks like Arizona has become the first state to vote against a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. It's pretty close, but as of now it isn't going to pass. It's still not allowed by state law, but at least it won't be part of the constitution.
We also voted to increase the minimum wage.
And against animal cruelty.
And as it stands in our US Congress races, we now have 4 Democrats and 4 Republicans, a switch of 2 seats to the Democrats.
With 98.4% of the precincts reporting (but with some absentee ballots still out there), Harry Mitchell is leading over JD Hayworth, 51.8% to 44.7%. I have some photos from the Harry Mitchell party to post, but I'm too tired right now.
Living in a purple state is so much better than living in a red state.
From the Simpsons last night
Voter suppression, harassing phone calls in Arizona against Harry Mitchell
We have just received word about a dirty tactic being used against our campaign.
There have been several reports that someone is barraging homes in the 5th Congressional District with repeated recorded phone calls that give the appearance of being from the Harry Mitchell campaign. These calls happen late at night and occur several times in a row. The intent is to appear as if Harry is the one repeatedly disturbing these voters.
Let me say for the record that these calls are NOT coming from us.
Although we do not know for sure, we believe these calls are part of the Hayworth campaign's efforts to suppress Democratic and Independent turnout by making people so angry about the number of recorded calls they're receiving that they simply don't vote. Furthermore, these calls make voters angry at Harry because they think he is the one responsible for them. It is a dirty trick, and we want to make sure you're aware of it.
What You Should Do if You Receive These Calls
If you receive these calls, we request that you do the following:
1. If you receive the call(s) on voice mail, don't erase it. Write a transcript of the call or share the recording with us.
2. If you pick-up the phone and receive one of these calls, don't hang-up. Take notes of what the call says, paying special attention to the disclaimer at the end
of the call.
3. If you have caller ID, take a picture of the information you receive or write it down.
4. If it is a live call, hit "*69" on your keypad to record the source.
5. Contact us as quickly as possible at 480-755-3343 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
6. Warn your friends and neighbors about these calls, and assure them that the calls are not coming from the Harry Mitchell campaign.
With your help, we can capture the information we need to take proper legal action against these imposters.
In the meantime, I'll apologize on behalf of Hayworth since something tells me he never will.
That's because after 12 years in Congress, the best J.D. Hayworth can do is pull cheap political stunts and run sleazy, false, negative TV ads. He has nothing else to offer. And that's exactly why we need a change.
As our most trusted volunteers and supporters, thank you for all the support you have given to this campaign since the very beginning. We could not have come this far without you, and we cherish your friendship and support. That's why we thought it was so important to make sure you knew about these calls right away and could help us set the record straight.
And that's why, with your continued hard work and support, Harry Mitchell is going to be the next Member of Congress from Arizona's 5th District!
That makes me sick. Hopefully it makes you sick too. Harry Mitchell is a good man and he doesn't deserve this. We need change in this country. Make sure you vote tomorrow. If you live in Arizona, Harry Mitchell and Jim Pederson deserve your vote. Elsewhere, there are some good Democrats running as well.
And when you are out there voting, keep an eye out for anything shady that is going on. Daily Kos has some good information about what to do if this happens.
Learn about your politicians!
--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl
--AZ-01: Rick Renzi
--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth
--CA-04: John Doolittle
--CA-11: Richard Pombo
--CA-50: Brian Bilbray
--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave
--CO-05: Doug Lamborn
--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell
--CT-04: Christopher Shays
--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan
--FL-16: Joe Negron
--FL-22: Clay Shaw
--ID-01: Bill Sali
--IL-06: Peter Roskam
--IL-10: Mark Kirk
--IL-14: Dennis Hastert
--IN-02: Chris Chocola
--IN-08: John Hostettler
--IA-01: Mike Whalen
--KS-02: Jim Ryun
--KY-03: Anne Northup
--KY-04: Geoff Davis
--MD-Sen: Michael Steele
--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht
--MN-06: Michele Bachmann
--MO-Sen: Jim Talent
--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns
--NV-03: Jon Porter
--NH-02: Charlie Bass
--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson
--NM-01: Heather Wilson
--NY-03: Peter King
--NY-20: John Sweeney
--NY-26: Tom Reynolds
--NY-29: Randy Kuhl
--NC-08: Robin Hayes
--NC-11: Charles Taylor
--OH-01: Steve Chabot
--OH-02: Jean Schmidt
--OH-15: Deborah Pryce
--OH-18: Joy Padgett
--PA-04: Melissa Hart
--PA-07: Curt Weldon
--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick
--PA-10: Don Sherwood
--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee
--TN-Sen: Bob Corker
--VA-Sen: George Allen
--VA-10: Frank Wolf
--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick
--WA-08: Dave Reichert
Mitchell for Congress
Harry Mitchell for Congress
His race against J.D. Hayworth has turned into a statistical dead heat. I wanted to finally feel like I had done something this election year. I also requested a sign to put up in my window. I don't know how many people would actually see it, since I doubt many people look at my window, but oh well. I'll just be glad to be doing something to get Foghorn Leghorn out of office after he put those despicable notes up on his signs that basically implied that Harry Mitchell was going around stealing campaign signs.
In case anyone else wants to request a sign, you can go here.
Many states allow you to request a ballot ahead of time. So go here and find out how to get your ballot early. That way you don't have to wait in line, and you have no excuse for being lazy. This election is much to important to miss out on.
Vote early and vote Democratic!
Strip down and get relaxed with Congressman Mark Foley
Ah, those good old Republican family values.
Remember, kids: Gay marriage is bad and will bring the Apocalypse, but sending lewd e-mails to 16-year-old boys is A-OK!
Introducing the Dubya Butt Plug
Yes, you can now shove the President of the United States up your ass like you have always wanted to.
Little Richard helps George W. Bush with his 9/11 speech
Keith Olbermann on the 5th Anniversary of September 11th
Keith Olbermann on MSNBC, on the 5th Anniversary of September 11th. Watch it.
ABC/Disney airing 9/11 propaganda film
Long story short - with the 5th anniversary of September 11th approaching, ABC is airing a documentary about the attacks. Except, it's not a documentary. Instead, it was written by Republicans, and contains many fabrications that have even been pointed out by Bush administration officials. That doesn't sound like a documentary to me. Yet I am sure many people will watch it and take it as gospel since it is on a major network. There is a major election a couple of months from now and this piece will sway some of the more stupid people in this country. ABC and Disney are airing a clearly biased film. Why else would they have only provided demo copies for Republican bloggers? If it truly is neutral, then why not provide them to everyone?
There's a lot to write about this topic, but rather than talking about it all, I will just point you in the direction of AmericaBlog, who are covering the story very well. Go check them out, and do whatever you can to inform your friends about the truth.